I am spending a week catching up with some reading, but I still want to come on here and say hi! Hope everyone is taking care and in good health. The mask mandate is dropping soon in Ontario at the end of the month — and I can already feel the cases are going up again. I sure will be sticking with my masks.
Just a quick note: if you are an iPhone user, you can now read Please Remind Me by Jeff Dunaway in the new Substack app for iPhone! With the app, you’ll have a dedicated inbox for my substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never be cut off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly.
Turning 27
It has been quite a weird week coming to terms with entering twenty-seven with a new mix of grief and joy — of not doing enough yet having done so much already. For birthday celebrations, I had a few close friends and acquaintances over for cake and drinks and had long chats about life and everything in between. Sometimes having people around you that know you intimately counts as a good life. Especially in turbulent times it is more so pressing to count your blessings and count on your tribe. Thank you for accepting me, holding me, and maybe tolerating me.
I have been contemplating the idea of moving to Toronto this year — to become a city boy, they say. Growing up in Hong Kong, I know intimately the cruelties that come with city living — emotional detachment, pretty entitled people, lack of openness, glorifying the “grind” etc. But as someone who does not know how to drive, it makes more sense to be in a city that is more accessible for a career change. I am hyperaware of the myth of “moving to the city” as a self-deluding recipe for disaster and more broken hearts. Yet at the same time, I can only hope I know who I am and will promise myself openness for the world.
Dear God [that’s what I say, and you can use whatever you choose], thank you. I ask that you guide my thoughts, my feelings, and my perceptions. I willingly give you all my resentments.”
RuPaul, Guru
To be quite honest, I haven’t been inspired to write lately but have been jotting ideas — but nothing is booming through yet. I can feel something coming my way, sometimes spending a week catching up on reading might lead you to some new avenues and corners that you didn’t know existed. I think I will do more catch-up sessions like this for reading weeks. What do you think about the writing so far? Any comments, suggestions, or ideas?
Podcasting — Feeling My Oats
Otherwise, I have been recording my podcast Feeling My Oats with my friend Joel and the episodes have been turning out lately. We started the podcast as a way to document our conversations about life, gossip, pop culture, gay sh*t, and everything in between. What started as a joke turned into an actual podcast that you can find on Spotify and Apple Podcast!
On our latest episode on the topic of body positivity, we talked about our relationship with our own bodies with examples of the clothing industry, hookup culture, and the border history behind the body positivity movement. The episode by no means is a comprehensive study on the topic but we want to chart out some key ideas to understand body positivity movement at the intersections of class, gender, race, ableness, etc.
We have two episodes coming out later this week: one on the topic of fear, and another one on embarrassment (Patreon exclusive and published it on the main channel later). Make sure to give us a follow and give it a listen!
Things I’ve Been “Consuming” (If That Interest You)
Texts
Sharon Marcus’ The Drama of Celebrity
Dean Spade’s Mutual Aid
Sarah Ahmed’s The Cultural Politics of Emotion
James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room
Roxanne Gay’s Bad Feminist (her essay on trigger warning is insightful in regards to safety, consent, and art-making)
Movies
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Mildred Pierce (1945) starring Joan Crawford (she won Best Actress 1946 with this film)
What’s Up, Doc? (1972) starring Barbara Streisand
Meanwhile…
While I am preparing for a new piece of writing, consider reading some of the past work here:
A Case for the Crying White Woman — pop culture’s obsession with white tears and broader cultural criticism
Hey Buddy — on calling names, male friendships, minor feelings
Paris Hilton is Burning — HBO’s Succession, Paris Hilton, Paris is Burning (1990)
Between Unmaking — toxic knowledge, the question of where do you learn from?
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You write from the heart Jeff and that resonates with me.Keep writing.